what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
try to milk me bitch
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