my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
