Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Randomize
