just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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