just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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