I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
