Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
