I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
