did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
