and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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