no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
