YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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