come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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