Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
