Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
