How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize