Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
