So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize
