maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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