I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
