i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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