It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
