WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
