they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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