I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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