She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize