you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my liver is dry heaving
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
