Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he laminated a picture of his dick.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
