I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
