When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
