plz talk dirty to me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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