I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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