He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
