Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
