it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
