Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just pee around me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
