Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
