I'm jealous of your bromance
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
