That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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