i think i have two assholes
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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