your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
