he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
worst night to have a conscience
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
