you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
