My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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