It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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