Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He shit in the fireplace
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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