You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
