living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
