I wannas sexs uuuuu
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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