We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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