If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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