I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
