so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
