is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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