Your tits are I can't wait for
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
