so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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