ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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