Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
