Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize