Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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