so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
