Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
