yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
