she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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