Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
